Where have the days..

Where have those days gone..
The days where I used to care so much more about things that were so much bigger than me.
I feel like life has replaced the sentiment of "Oh, I'm doing pretty good!" with "I'm..uh..okay..."

God-focused isn't even a question anymore. I know I'm losing it. So often, and ashamedly, God-un-focused.

It felt progressive -- just a gradual swallow into a state of intensely shameful neglect on my part of who God is to me.
Many, many things have happened in order to produce this lowered state of being, but I can't tell if this is growing up or growing (m)old. I guess what I mean by that is, am I growing in understanding about the world -- becoming a less naive Christian and a more exposed and experienced Christian -- or am I just losing it -- like being leached by some parasitic chytrid fungus...
Maybe it's a combination of both. But I hate this. I don't want to become the "Christian" that I see and say to myself, "Please don't let the public see you and think you exemplify what it means to know Jesus."
And my whole thought process on the idea of faith is so enigmatic at the moment.. I've been trying to do an exegetical study of the Bible -- which btw has been one of the toughest studies in my life to grasp -- to reach a true understanding of the truth of what I believe is God's Word. But exegesis is IMPOSSIBLE. How do I presume, a human whose brain works by branching synaptic connections, that I can assess the Thing cold-turkey?

However, as I sit here and vent (when I should be finishing my research paper), I can't help but feel tired. I want to be where I was -- but how much of what I lived before was utterly wrong? My emotion-filled, child-like love for Christ...

And yet, as I write this, I feel like that's what I'm missing. Balance is so hard when your priorities are not weighted correctly.
I feel like this is the decade of my life where I'm supposed to take charge, fight hard, not let down, not give up or give in, not shut up until I've made something of myself. But what about God... isn't He supposed to be the Equation that grants any success I have? I try hard to achieve -- and end up feeling like a mess. When I waste time, I become furious with how I am -- and when I do well, my whole world is turned right-side up. So often I let the results of a test define how God is towards me.
I gotta believe that this is wrong.
God, fix me, please.

I'm Sorry, (intro)

I've been a major poo poo head.
I haven't been able to get much time to myself and a computer while down in the DR,
and, just, unfortunately haven't been able to update all the wonderful people who support me and pray for this trip.


I'm not sure,
Maybe I'm thinking wrong -- but I don't feel different when I come down here, I guess.
So many times we're hearing that, "We're doing the work of God," but...
it just makes me think, you know?
Does the work of God exist only when you enter a different country?


Like I said, I'm not sure if I'm right -- and never to discount the importance of overseas missions -- but shouldn't God's work exist in every little piece of our lives?
I guess I just wonder why we decide to say it only when we go overseas.
As I see it, everybody at home, going to their jobs, representing Christ, being an ambassador and spreading Him...
I mean... aren't they doing the work of God?


But please let me change the subject, and just briefly share with you about what's been going on -- and how God's been working in the DR and in the lives of the kids that came down here.

So far, we've been visiting villages, spreading news of a festival we'll be holding on Wednesday night, and inviting people and their children. We've also been taking surveys to assess their level of poverty -- to best know how we an serve them -- and we've often been using it as an icebreaker to share Jesus with them!
It's been awesome, and such a blessing to see: those that come to a freeing, loving, servitude of Christ (and please pray for them to be genuine in their decisions!), elderly women who've confessed to have faith for 40 years, and understanding that that's her only key into His courts, and also experiencing so many searchers of truth.
It's awesome to know that so many people take it seriously, how they listen to you, and ask questions at the instance it hits them that He is BIG. And the decision is BIG.
Of course there are those hardened hearts, but we experience them at home as well, and we just have to be faithful in prayer for them (definitely easier said than done).


On another encouraging note, I've been so excited to see our kids step out of their comfort zones and just Spread.
To be completely honest, I love seeing the impact on the DR. The kids of the DR. So many that have one meal a day... But one of the greatest joys I experience on this trip is seeing the impact it has on our kids.
I mean, the kids of the Rock Student Ministries!
I can't express what a blessing it is -- I know I've grown in my faith, coming to experience something like the DR -- and I'm just so honestly, indubitably, exceedingly, other-words-with-ly excited to see what God has planned for them, in their growth, in their lives -- what changes for Christ will be born in them and through them.

-a bond slave of Christ

Nursing Home

So, Friday morning, we headed out for the nursing home. It was the last place on our schedule (that we hadn't already visited). Unfortunate that we didn't get to spend more time at the orphanages and whatnot (our team was the "Children's Ministry Team"), but this was our opportunity to visit the other side of the spectrum.
Many of these elderly people haven't got it all together.
Many of them are at a point in life where they're not functioning near as well as they used to.
But they are still a blessing and a joy to be around.
One man in particular, Mendula, was a pastor in his heyday.
He speaks Spanish and Creole…and to our delight and surprise, sings and plays guitar.
I remember meeting him in '09 and having him play my Appa's (stepdad's) classical nylon string guitar from Costco -- which had only 5 strings…(my fault)
This year, i was able to bring, my friend, Anton's guitar..which is a step above Costco guitars :P
To see him play the guitar and enjoy it was a blissful moment for me and i could only imagine if Sandy was there (Sandy and i met him last year).
It was fun, just to see the people on my team walk by with lit up faces at the sight of this elderly man playing the guitar


Credit to Giavanna Sicilia

8/5/10 -- 'Diana'

In the morning,

Team B (my team) went to visit Sonia's orphanage.
There's a little girl from there that I grew close to last year. She's about 7 years old, 4'3" and commonly in my prayers.
She's got definite abandonment issues and it breaks my heart every time I leave her.
Early on in the week, the Loudoun Team (Team F) visited the Orphanage. Diana had been asking for me and had even drawn a picture for me (which a certain someone lost before i was able to see it).

Anyways,

Today, our team went to visit the orphanage.
I walked in and Diana was waiting at the door with her back turned.
I called her name, she turned around and we embraced. It was so awesome to see her again.

We spent some time together -- her and her friends, estel and cyntia -- playing guitar, singing some worship songs (Diana liked the songs with fast strumming) and climbing things.

Relative to the attitude of children at home,
These kids have such loving hearts.
My cousins won't come near me sometimes when I'm looking dirty -- and i'm quite sure the "bum sister" wouldn't either (look at the post about my sisters).
But these little girls literally wiped the sweat off of me.
and if you know me...
i sweat..
A LOT.
that was touching to me.
It was time to go and I was pretty upset that we had to leave so quickly.
I really hope I'll be able to go there once more.
Her words to me when we were leaving were, "Simon, when are you coming back?"
I gave her my silly bands, hugged her, and kissed her on the head.
Will I go back?
(from left to right: Cyntia, Estel, Diana)

No se (i don't know).

Albeit,
and yes. I used that word.
I am here for one reason.
And if Not seeing Diana for a year so that we may faithfully proclaim the Glorious Message of Christ and His Sacrifice, then here am i, Lord.
Send me.

8/4/oh ten.

so we went out today and visited the village of Honduras again.
This time was much better.
We had much more prepared, less craziness and everything seemed to run a little bit nicer than last time. [We had the assistance of the worship, drama and step teams with us]

Thank you to all who prayed!
The Gospel was effectively spread and affection for the people grew so much (especially for me).


I will update when i'm less tired.
thank you!
JesuCristo! GLORI A DIOS!

"Good Morning, God."

EVENTS
8/2/10 -- Shopping/Honduras (Village)
8/3/10 -- Jackie's Orphanage/Garbage dump (Village)


8/2/10
Yesterday, we went out to go shopping. I know, it's kind of weird. You're on a mission trip and the first thing you go to do is shop. But! We bought all kinds of stuff.. and most importantly we bRought and tried to share the love of Christ to the shop owners.
It was amazing to see the our own share and be able to have testimonies about what God's doing just in our own group.

Especially this guy. He was in a room with me and some other guys for McLean Bible Church's Rock Student Ministries: Beach Week. To see him grow so much in such a short amount of time, to be able to love him and encourage him, to have the privilege to get a glimpse of what God is doing in his life... i'm in awe.
and Hope is still rising.

/

After the shop, we went to visit a village called "Honduras"
I don't believe it has any affiliation with the country of Honduras.. but I could be wrong-- as I often am.
The village was crazy. The kids were crazy.
Don't get me wrong, we loved the kids and had tons of fun with them.
But they were crazy.




There was fighting and just a bunch of craziness.
This village really needs to experience the Joy of Christ.
Tomorrow (Wednesday) we're going again and I'm exited and nervous.
I shouldn't be nervous..
I just need to believe that God will DO WORK.
He will.
So please be prayerful about that certain village!



8/3/10
SO we went to visit a place called Jackie's.
She owns an orphanage for kids that she pulls out of their birth-parents care.
She begs the parents that she would be able to take care of their children: give them a place to eat, sleep, live.
Most of these kids have parents that are involved in prostitution and, heart-breakingly, have been sexually abused themselves.
Jackie is a TOTAL woman of God.
She is such an inspiration and just a wonderful person.

A huge testimony to all of us is this 15 year-old boy named Israel.

Israel is under Jackie's care and just an awesome soldier with a heart that beats for God. This kid wants to be a pastor when he grows up.
He is a product of incest and is therefore crippled. Same with his sister, Clara -- who, by the way, is equally awesome.
We live such comfortable lives and have
"so much"
but every day here is a wake up call.
Every day i'm reminded that what i think is much..
really has no eternal value.
this MacBook i'm typing away on,
i love that my parents got it for me.
I love that they decided to go a bit deep and say,
"I know we wouldn't normally spend this much money..
but we want to get it for you."
But this thing...won't be in heaven with me.
In fact, it probably will be outdated within a decade.
But this kid, who has nothing of worldly value..has such a heart, a fire, for God
and it beats and burns con fuerte (with strength...i think...please excuse mi espanol).




/

Afterwards, we went to visit "The Dump"
a literal village built around a dump.
There was a constant stench.
Many of us were overwhelmed by everything.
Naked kids running around.
We decided to prepare and give food..and there was a mini stampede (almost).
We tried to control the crowd as best as we could...but it was crazy.


I mean...sure, we might do the same thing at home for free stuff...
but I'm sure that we wouldn't do it for a juice-box and a crappy margarine and ham sandwich.

These guys need to be reached. Only about 10% of the people were said to be true believers in the village. but of those 10%, there are faithful believers. Those that need counsel and those that know the need for Jesus in their lives.
These are also people we must be praying for.

Phirst day

So yesterday we arrived at the Dominican Republic!

Flight 3 left at 4 am
Flight 2 Left around 6
And flight 1 left around 8

WE arrived in the DR later than all and didn't get a chance to go out and do anything
but I did take some pictures of the journey to the hotel.